I need to get something out of my system. Its a bit of a rant. So I am sorry about that, for those that are sensitive to that kind of thing. But the Demons in me right now, are really bad. They are messing with my energy. Emptying my emotions. Basically feeding of my energy and emotions. Triggering me, making me so angry at times. I argue with them alot. And it is a very difficult situation to be in. They have this influence on me which is very bad for me. But I have decided to learn from this.. I will find Peace in fact. Im not sure exactley how yet. Other than trying to feel Peaceful in any given situation with them. That might be harder sometimes, than others. Because they are able to send me energy. And for the most, this is bad energy. It makes me feel stuffed in my chest, stressed and agitated. Which can also make me angry. But I manage. But as I said, I will be connecting with Peace. I will find the Peace within me that I need to get through this. Its like a never ending drama that just never wants to stop. I dont even Understand what it is about them. They have been taking my emotions, to themselves. Leaving me with nothing. So in one way, I am empty. Without emotions. Not feeling like myself. Only existing. Not feeling my way through Life.
This was a little while ago. I now believe there are some higher meaning with all of this. Im not sure yet, how it all comes together.. but I am sure that either I, or us, many, will figure it out. Together. Because I have learned so much about stuff, by dealing with Demons. And I will be writing about alot of it, but not yet. I am thinking about writiting a book about Schitzophrenia and the trauma that can come with it. Because, of what I have experienced, it sure as hell has brought me alot of trauma. And for some time, I barely got through. I almost died. (WARNING for further reading!!) Because I tried to kill myself. Im almost sorry to say it, because I am afraid that it might trigger someone into thinking that they have to. But just so that You are aware, do not kill Yourself, because voices in Your head are believing You to do so. This Life, that we have, is worth Living! And do You know what? Do not let them tell You otherwise! Because, Schitzophrenia, might be You just having Demons, or it might be illness. Regardless of which it is, it can be extremely traumatic, not for everyone, but for some.. and I just want to tell You, if You have had a traumatic experience, with either illness or Demons.. do not let them tell You to harm Yourself, others, or to die. Because Life is worth living. And You deserve a good experience in Life. My point here, is also, that Your voices, cannot harm Your physical body. Allways trust that.
Anyway, I hope You are all doing well. And that You all have a good experience in Life. I will be writing more about what I learned from the Demons in the next post. Until then. Take care of Yourselves. I Love You all..
Thank You for reading this.
With Unconditional Love and Gratitude
Elisabeth Hjerte
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