I really want to tell you about the Journey I have been through. Regarding Spirituality. And regarding my illness. Because the line between the two seem so blurred at times. I am currently hosting demons within me. Or so it might seem at least. Ive been having voices in my head since 2021. And they have been with me, in different forms. Throughout the years. I used to believe I had one demon, that followed me, through this journey that I have had. But it turned out to be all demons, who had played with my head, through all this time. When I had that big heart opening, with the mushrooms. Both Light and Dark showed up. And I got to know many beings. But the thing is, demons play games like that, and I am now unsure of what of their games were real, and what was actually Light that turned up. I was at some point dragged into a situation where I had to choose whether to be a Christian or to fight demons. I chose, multiple times to become a Christian, but did not manage to stay within the Christian rules. Like, no tarot cards, no crystals, no energy work or all of that which I Love within Spirituality. So here I am, once again. Within Spirituality, but unsure of all the crazieness that seems to be illness to me. So I am managing the best that I can. With some medications, with Light within me, and what I feel is at least a strong mind. But something I had forgotten up in all of this. Was my Heart. I know I have lost that major Heart opening that I had. One that I believed healed many of my voices. But, as it disappeared, so the voices got more pressuring at other things. I am unsure of what exactley did it. But It came to be, that I could not feel anything at all anymore. Because one voice in particulair, started threatening my son, for my Love. Which I did not have anymore. And if I did not have enough Love, he would do terrible things to my son. In all of this chaos, I started shutting down. Becoming cold to the voices. Protecting myself. And lastly, accepting the Christian faith once more. Which helped immensely. But how my brain is trying to work out things regarding the voices, I dont agree with. Because it seems to be tormenting them, while also taunting them to torment me back. And I dont understand it. I left Christianity once more. And now I am here. Remembering what I lost. That Love, and Light, Heals. And that is what I should be focusing on. I was sure of it, at some point, that I came to this planet to help people Heal. Or to help aid Mother Earth in some manner. And here I have been, choosing Religions, fighting demons, when all I could have done was just to Love them. Now I dont have that Heart opening anymore. But I hope, that what I have, is enough. Enough for Humanity, here on Earth, which was my intention of Healing, when I started this blog. So I am starting fresh. Starting to live by my own teachings. So, step one.. staying soft in a hard world. So i will be ever so carefully, starting to reconnect with my own Heart. And hopefully, I will be connected with it once again. Because that is what I believe in. Love and Light. Unconditional Love, Understanding, Compassion, Kindness and Respect.
Thank you for reading this.
With Unconditional Love and Gratitude
Elisabeth Hjerte
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