For the more difficult ones

Are You one of the difficult ones? Or do You know anyone? Do You have a wound, deep in yourself, that is very hard to handle? Your environment might be triggering, and your way of coping might even be damaging, without you ever meaning it to be this way. The feeling of unsafeness, can be something that comes from a wound that can be very uneasy to experience. And if it catch you offguard, Your body might react in different ways. This might be fear, that can lead to anger, and if it builds up, this can be very tough to handle on your own. You might try to take control in areas where You can find it. And if this is in in a damaging way, You are probably damaging yourself even further. 

I know that I am writing to the more difficult ones right now, but just so that I have said it, this Healing that I am writing about, is good for everyone. Even if You are not one of the more difficult ones. But I wanted to dedicate a post to those that are in most need of Healing. Because they are in fact that, in the most need of it. 

To find safeness in yourself, try finding a time and a place in Your Life, where You had this. We all have our inner Child, which purpose is, for us to connect with to have a more childlike sense of wonder, playfulness and curiosity around things. And in this way of being, we can find safety. Because a Child has none of the burdens of Life as an adult might have(unless the Child has had trauma, and are in need of Healing). So to find safety, Heal Your inner Child. And once You have Healed Your inner Child, that Child will have safety. This is one step in the right direction.

So to Heal it, You will have to connect with it. If its a hurt Child, try Comforting it, by bringing it back to a memory in time, where You felt safe. This could be any memory. But make it a safe one. Tell your inner Child, that it is Loved, that it is Safe, and that it is okay to be angry if it is. Validate the feelings the Child are having, emphasizing that the Child is Safe, Understood, and accepted as it is. You will feel these emotions as You connect, and just be aware, it is the Child that is hurting, which is You. I did this once, connect with my inner Child I mean. I just started talking to it. I whispered. I told her she was loved. And I told her many times. I kept telling her as I went on talking to her. I told her how we were doing as adults. That we were doing good. Allthough its not allways true. But I could feel her listening. I told her how our siblings were doing. That they had gotten big now. That we were loved by our parents. That we were getting hugs and everything. 

Remember the safe memory. You might not want to use it right away, if you want to work through the emotion that you are having. Because putting it away, repressing it, does not work out in the end. Feel the emotion. But try to get to the bottom of it. If You have anger, and if it makes you harmful, try screaming into a pillow. When you are at the end of your scream, you might reach the underlying emotion. This can be more than one layer. And it can be very intense, going through the layers, to get to the actual hurt, that is laying at the bottom. In every layer, there are many scenarios that can happen. And just know, You should only do this, together with someone who can handle this. It should be someone who is educated in this and that You trust. 

I saw this video once, but I cant remember where it was from. It was about the most difficult people in prison. The hardest convicted. And in a prison somewhere, there had been a group of men gathering together. They had started taking on the fellow inmates as Healing cases. And they worked together on getting down to the root feeling of everything that they were having to deal with. It was very difficult for them. And many acted out in anger. Having the other inmates hold them down during it. But they came through. And the others were all there for the person that were being Healed. It was beatiful. I wish I remembered where it was, because then I would have posted it here. 

Throughout growing up, we mould ourselves after our environment. Having a sort of opperating system which tells us what to do when we are met with challenges. And as we grow up, we figure out what works. And as I have written before, if we have had losing our power at our Home environment, we might take back our power at the outside environment. Ensuring that our power is not lost here too. This might be in a harmful way, even if we might not mean for it to be. It is a way of surviving in the world, through having learned these opperating functions. Like, if met with challenge A, You would do one thing, and when met with challenge B, You would do another thing. And throughout Childhood, You have aquired strategies for handeling situations You are met with. This is something everyone does, and if met with harsh challenges, You might have aquired harsh dealing methods. For survival. But know, it does not have to be this way. It is not who You truly are. And know, being hurt is not being weak. And being hurt, is not Your fault. 

I wish You all the Healing You need. To Recover from the trauma you might have experienced in your Life. And that Your Life will be good, for You to be Healed and for You to find what You seek in Life, in regards of that. I believe in You. 

Thank You for reading this.

With Unconditional Love and Gratitude

Elisabeth Hjerte